Tenderness |
By Susan Kramer
Gentle human touch--begun with mother and child--feels good and is nourishing for children and adults, alike, throughout life. Tenderness in dealing mind to mind gets the same positive feedback. When we see a situation that could stand some changing, we get a more receptive response if we first point out the good.At home--at work or at school if we treat those around us with consideration we will likely get a response in kind
When we lose our tempers it is easy to blame someone. Actually, we allow a situation to affect us negatively, and we then get angry within ourselves and explode emotionally outwardly. Realizing that events are temporary and that all problems have a resolve helps us to relax during the process of conflict, and be kinder to those involved with what we are going through.
Looking back we see that every problem had a resolve-- And that it follows that future problems will resolve equitably, too In the meantime life is more enjoyable if we are tender in our dealings with loved ones, friends everyone
Tenderness--a baseline for spiritual living...
Living a spiritual life means more than one hour of church a week. It involves--moment to moment, day to day--integration of insight into all aspects of living.
We live in the spirit by following our conscience in all our actions Each of our words or deeds should hurt no one-- not ourselves, either We and others should benefit from our time on earth
Spiritual living means living with happiness and joy--products experienced during the actual process of doing good. We may think that happiness comes after we attain something such as a material possession or status or wealth. No. When we attain something we soon want something more. On and on. If we analyze this idea for ourselves, from our own experience, we notice that the happiness felt from attaining something doesn't fulfill us permanently. New wants creep in to the mind soon.
Lasting happiness is experienced from consistently acting with tenderness in all our actions--not with acquiring relationships or objects. By living with the attitude of tenderness and care we are integrating every goal that living a spiritual life is pointing us toward.
One might think that personal care means taking time out from total spiritual living. Not so. We need to maintain a healthy body and mind to feel happy. Moment to moment our state of physical health affects our thoughts and conversely our state of mind affects the physical sensations we feel in our body. We contribute to our overall health by holding positive attitudes, taking time to methodically resolve stressful situations as they present, spending regular periods in reflection and meditation, and by maintaining our body through wholesome diet, exercise, bathing, and resting. When we feel good mentally and physically happiness naturally flows through our lives.
Back to meditation for the moment…
Meditation balances out the portion of our time we spend in activity. It provides an opportunity, through lying still in deep relaxation or by sitting still, to really allow loving thoughts and feelings to swell up from our inner depths--usually hidden by our fast-paced world--into our conscious mind. Tender feelings, caring feelings are allowed their time and space. And after meditation these tender thoughts, having been brought to consciousness, more easily integrate into our daily living.
Love is eternal-- Tender love is eternal
Tender love is eternal because its existence is not rooted in the changing world of elements. Molecules are constantly rearranging. Candle wax, one minute solid, the next burned releasing the energy of heat. And our own physical body created out of simple elements again returns to simple elements when we flee it one day.
Love begins as an energy force before being molded physically. Love arising from the individual soul, when transmitted through mans' mind into action--tender caring action, then becomes a solid force in our lives.
The energy for loving comes from the Source from the Source that created our soul Love can be permanent because our Source is permanent
Feelings of love do not cease when external circumstances change…
Love transcends time and place and dimension. One can feel love for another whether or not the beloved is near, far, or even still in physical form.
When we are conscious of feeling tender love for our dear ones and for all humankind, we are in happiness. Our own state of happiness is not dependent on a response to our love. Happiness is self-supporting--it is the property of the individual soul, the over soul--what we know as God. If a person does not respond in kind to our love for them that does not make us stop loving them.
Real love is concerned for the good, the highest benefit and happiness of another apart from our own gain from the relationship. We say there are many forms of love. Actually there is but one form. All true, real love contains care for another's highest good without thought of reciprocal care.
As soon as we expect love in return we have begun a business--an account. So much in equals so much out. Selfishness could said to be the withholding of love--if we felt we were not getting enough return for our investment. So we are either really loving or we are doing business for another's energy.
The soul is experienced in pure tender love, love that is without the properties of time, space, or circumstances in the physical dimension--which depends on cause and effect for its temporary existence.
Through experiencing real love we get an inkling of the greater love that sustains us. Imagine everyone being conscious of their own permanent nature--love. The only experience we can feel continuously as satisfying us is love--tender love.
Body and Mind the tools we have to use to experiment with in finding out what in life gives us the permanent joy that we seek Happiness-- The balance of active and quiet time-- The taking of the tender insights brought out from meditation into the active roles that we play in life Joy, peace, happiness, love-- finding God for ourselves from within ourselves...
Article © Susan Kramer 1998 Leaf Artwork © Susan Kramer 1998
From the 'Leaves of Finlandie…' collection
Susan Kramer has written over 500 articles, essays, poems, and commentaries on consciousness over the past 15 years. Susan welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: susan@susankramer.com